My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
