i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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