I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
from now on my penis is your penis
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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