I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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