And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
