Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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