Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
