Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
