I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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