The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
