I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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