Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
