why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
