Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
smell my finger.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
