you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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