Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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