why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my shit smells like andre
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
