Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
