Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
