I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Houston, we have a squirter
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize