marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
