He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
