You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
