So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
