I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
