McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
