Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
