seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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