guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My feet surprised me
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