I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
