why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
