just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
