we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
