im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
