I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
