Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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