Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
