So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
