I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
