I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we made out on top of his cat.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
