Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
