Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
