I'm jealous of your bromance
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
