My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
