I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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