Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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