i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
P.S. I can't hear my feet
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize