Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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