she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
