i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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