My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
