i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize