is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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