Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
