If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
