you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
