on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
