just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
