so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
