its not stalking. its research.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
